and you loom over me like a mountain

by J.S. Terry

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about

i awoke to find that you were gone from our makeshift bed on the floor. the one that we made out of the fabrics and blankets we bought at the marketplace down below our window. it's always so loud in the mornings that it wakes us up as the vendors would begin to shout and carts came in and out of the square. now i could only hear the birds chirp as they flew towards the mountains in the distance. i looked out the window to see their wings move in unison as they flew over the forest of trees that separated the mountains from where i am now. i looked into the village streets to see it empty. no one spoke because no one was there.

i had created a world inside your chest that ran through the rest of your body. we lived in the city behind your rib cage for a while, that's where we fell in love. now you're gone and it's only me standing alone in our room; you took everything with you. it took me a long time to realize that it was never the world you built for me, but the one i built for myself. an unintentionally selfish thing for me to do, to put my trust in you without making sure you were willing to hold me up. i made my world within you and relied on you to make me okay. i never asked if you wanted that and for that i'm sorry.

it was never you. you were just there at the beginning of my collapse and for so long i thought it was you when it was really everything else. my life crumbled when you left but not because you left. i walked through the woods to find you, i journeyed so far thinking you were the answer. i thought i needed you to function. i truly believed i needed you to breath. i thought i could only exist if i was in your heart. i ignored my friends and family as they tried to help me. i let the emotions that loom over me come after me over and over. i fell deeper as things only got worse. i didn't hear my friends shouting in the distance until it was almost too late.

this album is not a love album but an album about how i am haunted by everything in my life including my anxieties, my mother's sickness, my inadequacy, fears and the people i have lost to either death or distance. this album is a true journey into self-betterment and understanding. it is an ode to my friends and family who were there for me in my darkest time. it's my journey into your forest, over your lakes, along your rivers. it's a journey into understanding that my life fell apart because sometimes that is human nature to do so. and you loom over me like a mountain tells a story about me trying to escape a world that i built myself while meeting some friends along the way. i was alone and cold in a dark place when they came and held me and sang me their songs. this is not a love album but an album about how i love the ones around me, they are the only reason i'm still breathing.

credits

released April 26, 2019

jonah terry
-vocals
-guitar
-banjo
-mandolin
-double bass
-glockenspiel
-melodica
-synth
-recorder
-various percussion

wesley heaton
-trumpet
-group vocals
-synth
-a voice of the mischievous beings

daniel fetterolf
-violin
-bowed guitar
-group vocals
-various percussion
-synth
-a voice of the mischievous beings

jackson wise
-singing saw
-accordion
-a voice of the mischievous beings

ian burrell
- saxophone
- group vocals

marissa splendore
-piano

tayler bucich
-synth
-group vocals
-air organ
-a voice of the mischievous beings

luke waldrop
-group vocals
-a voice of the mischievous beings

miranda godfrey
-cello

grant wolken
-group vocals
-various percussion instruments
-ambient guitar

walker mcdonald
-group vocals

nicolette sara
-electric bass
-group vocals

timothy mcfall
- trombone
-group vocals

lillian peel
-group vocals

danielle mcconaughey
-vocals

brady sklar
-electric guitar
-group vocals

asia paguntalan
-group vocals

kellen neely
-group vocals

michal gilbert
-group vocals

j bobman
-group vocals

molly druga
-reading "bohémiens en voyage" by charles baudelaire // track 7

///

thank you to everyone who helped me create this album and who helped me become who i am today. there are too many to list but i would personally like to thank my mother for raising me to be the person i am today and consistently supporting me in my endeavors.

there have been many friends who have supported me along the journey of this album, and to each one of you, you will know who you are. i love you all greatly. there is one person who i need to take the time to personally thank, and that person would be wesley heaton. in a time where i had a vision in my head and no clue how to get it out, wesley was there to support and nurture the album alongside me. without him this project would not exist in the format that it does. he is a kind friend who means the world to me and who has influenced this almost more than anyone. thank you.

rest in peace to my grandfather jesse defate green who passed away during the recording of this album. defate is for you. you taught me a lot about music and life and love. i miss you everyday, i'm thankful to have known you.

rest in peace to my good friend eryn presli whitfield who passed away during the recording of this album. presli's lullaby is for you. you taught me to be myself and to live free. i miss you everyday, i'm thankful to have known you.




songwriting and lyrics by jonah terry
horn arrangments assisted by wesley heaton
string arrangements assisted by daniel fetterolf
piano arrangements assisted by marissa splendore

recorded throughout the home known as pablo in clemson, south carolina and my home in campobello, south carolina. additional recording done in charlotte, north carolina. saxophone parts recorded in boston, massachusetts by ian burrell. 'the migration of blue ghost fireflies' was recorded at converse college in spartanburg, south carolina.

album art collaborated on with photography from geneva hutchinson, additional editing from luke waldrop, photography by and of frances davenport and jonah terry. album title typography hand painted by katie kesey.

production by wesley heaton and jonah terry, respectively.

mixing done by wesley heaton

mastered by brady sklar

this is a contribution to the pablo generation.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

J.S. Terry Campobello, South Carolina

project of jonah scott terry, accompanied by friends.

flowers. lovers. memories. ideas.

pablo generation.


booking & contact: thejonahterry@gmail.com

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Track Name: the unmistakable sound of a heart beating in love
your heart beat slowly
i remember holding
my breath
as you and i tried to
breath in sync

the people inside
your heart
turn the valves that
spin the cogs
that make your heartbeat
so hard when
you're in love

and inside your ribs
once lived a colony
working to keep
your heart beating
it's a ghost town now
and mine is the same
i hope it will beat in
love again someday


and who will i forgive when you're gone
Track Name: flowers on the hillside
from the hillside
i can see
your river slowly moving towards me

the anxiety, encroaching
slow
but always moving

do you hate me?
or am i just paranoid?
do you love me?
or is that a question that i should avoid?

and i could feel it
in the air
the oxygen slowly leaving

and i know that you're right here
is that suppose to be comforting?

do you hate me?
or am i just paranoid?
do you love?
or is that a question that i should avoid?

and you said to me
that i want to count your teeth
Track Name: the moon is out in daylight - sa woo (we see)
a nuisance in your eyes
was the best that i could do
i wish i just could have been
better for you
i'm wide awake tonight
looking up at the moon,
the very same moon
you're looking up at too

insecure in love with
a concept in my head
how do the words escape
when the speaker has left
i dreamt of you last night
trust me i hated it too
i just wish that i could
forget all of you

yesterday i went walking
i saw your eyes in the land
i slowly drank your water
from the cusp of my hand
i saw the clouds moving
slowly in the wind
and i'm a damaged soul
always on the mend now

---

sa woo (translation: we see)
Track Name: a theme for the mischievous beings
[the language of the mischievous beings is unknown to me, who was just a witness to this very real moment in my life. it would be a shame if i were to try and translate the lyrics to this song. i'm only fluent in short phrases]
Track Name: weak eyes - the migration of the blue ghost fireflies
weak eyes, disguise
your tongue, hidden lies
pale thighs, cold touch
i know it's how you love

in the night i miss you
more than i should

in the night i miss you
more than i should

i can see the sun fall
i can see the moon rise

i can see the sun fall down

weak eyes, disguise
your tongue, hidden lies
pale thighs, cold touch
i know it's how you love

in the night i miss you
more than i should

in the night i miss you
more than i should

i wish i could be a little better than i was yesterday
Track Name: guided through the forest by fireflies
fireflies
light up the sky
forgiveness
that you said you need
in the darkness
without your voice to guide me
out of this place

and i know you know
i need you here tonight
and you know i know
you won't stay for me

and cold eyes
the breath of dawn
baby blue
keep your distance
i'll follow
the star of altair
and maybe
it will lead back to you
toothless?
so speak with you tongue
the foxglove?
placed in your lungs
so we run
follow the light
our footsteps
echo in the night

i know you know
i need you here tonight
you know i know
you won't stay for me

and fireflies
light up the sky
forgiveness
that you said you need

(in the darkness
without your voice to guide me
out of this place)
Track Name: the night before - presli's lullaby
tonight, i'll fall
right in your arms
all in the dreams
that haunt me so
tonight i'll look out
in the field
and see you standing
there all alone


the moonlight bounces
off your pale skin
and i am in your bed spinning
the moonlight bounces
off your pale skin
and i am in your bed spinning
out of control
i keep collapsing in the snow
your lips meet mine
and keep me warm in the night
and i loved you so, i loved you so
i loved you so, i loved you so

///

presli's lullaby
Track Name: and you loom over me like a mountain
come on down my love
see what i've become
a shell of who i once was
come on down from your mountain

undid the words over time
forgot the context the lines
i'm doing better but i'm not fine
i'm doing better but i'm not fine

the water pours down your throat
creates a pool to which i'll go
i will drown in your lungs
i will drown in your lungs

oh i don't think that you're the one
oh i was just reading it wrong
i'll try to forget you in my sleep
i'll try to forget you in my sleep
Track Name: we run loose amongst the trees, the sun rises
i am now dead
sound the drums
sing the songs

i am now free
of the curse you
had over me

we run, we run
through the early morning
we run, we run
from all the things that haunt us
and i'm tired, i'm tired
of always running
and i'm tired, i'm tired
of always running
so maybe i'll confront something
maybe i'll confront something

1, 2, 3 ,4 keep up, keep up now

and you loomed over me

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